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I Heard That

In Westwood, Mandarin speakers use their native tongue when they're angry.

By Rachael Rae Wong

When my parents met, my mom spoke Mandarin and broken English and my dad spoke fluent English and Cantonese. Eventually my dad learned Mandarin and my mom learned English, so they would speak to each other in broken sentences. At first they spoke Mandarin with me, but after I started preschool my dad, worried about how I would communicate, began to emphasize English at home. Today, I can still understand Mandarin and speak it a little, but I no longer speak it with my parents, and I can't use it as well as other American-raised Chinese. I generally avoid speaking Mandarin and try not to let people know that I understand it, because I'm afraid of being judged for my lack of fluency.

I work at a retail store in Westwood Village near UCLA, whose international pull accounts for a diverse customer demographic. Two groups I often encounter are extremely "fobby" and acclimated Asian Americans. ("Fobby" comes from FOB, or Fresh Off the Boat, and describes Asian Americans who strongly identify with some Asian heritage.) Regardless how people from either group portray themselves culturally, the way they treat me is the same: If they're angry they use their native tongue. The good part is that I can understand most of what they're saying.

I hear Mandarin speakers discuss how helpful I am, how I am dressed, or how they think I perceive myself. I mean, who doesn't love it when someone describes you as "that girl who thinks she's Japanese, but acts 'white' and doesn't have a clue about her people"? In my head my response is, "Keep your cool, go have a cigarette break, and forget those ignorant people." In my heart it can really hurt. Being multilingual in a diverse community is enabling, but also humbling.

Third-year UCLA art student Rachael Rae Wong was born in Shanghai and grew up in Seoul and Los Angeles. She also speaks English, French, and Korean. LA Language World (LALA) welcomes "First Person" and other submissions from readers.

Date Posted: 11/10/2008